To Blame Or Not To Blame? T'is The Question

I’ll keep this article rather short because the lesson in this couldn’t be any more simpler. Now, you probably have a fairly good grasp at what I’m going to say… type, which is good, but, bear with me for clarification purposes, ok? You’re probably thinking there are either two routes for this, right? It’s either your fault, or someone else’s. After all, those are the only two logical alternatives, right? Well, let’s go over each of them, shall we? Go ahead, when something happens, what is your typical response?

-I blame the world, it's always out of my control.

-I blame myself, it's my fault.

What Happens When You Blame Others 

Blaming others for your problems seem to be how many people conduct themselves on a day to day basis. Don’t be envious for their great spirit in lacking responsibility.

“I hate you father, it’s because of you that my life is like this. If you hadn’t have done this, I would have been so happy.”

Or maybe…

“My friends are traitors. They abandoned me… like everyone else. Well, if no one wants to help me when I need them, I might as well not help them.”

I promise I’m not subconsciously typing those examples btw. :3

But, yeah, you get the general gist of it; something happens in your life that causes you to put the blame on other people or things. I mean after all, you know the laws of “Cause and Effect” more than anyone right? The effect is your pain, so you try to look for an outside cause. What happens? You begin to feel hatred as you search for what, you feel, caused your anguish and frustration. What does this hatred do?  It motivates you to disconnect your heart from your mind and separate yourself from everyone else.

Pain turns to Sadness…

Sadness turns to Hatred…

Hatred leads to Emptiness

Emptiness Causes A Deep Disconnection with Yourself

With hatred there is more pain

.

You have successfully put yourself into a bitter cycle. Not only that, it causes you to force yourself into becoming a whole new person, a person whose heart is filled with emptiness.

I’ve been there, but we’ll get more into that down the road… if you’re interested, that is.

So, if it’s not other people you’re blaming, it must be…

What Happens When You Blame Yourself

It may SEEM like the logical view to take, but this is probably the most cruel option.

“It’s my fault. I wasn’t strong enough.”

“I’m too weak to do anything right.”

“Everyone’s better off without me holding them back.”

A lot of people think this way, but what does it really do if you‘re not strong enough?

• You blame yourself
• You get angry at yourself
• You curse your weaknesses
• You become withdrawn
• You become depressed and alone

You separate yourself from the rest of the world for fear of bringing anyone else down with you. In the end,  you’re alone, depressed and sheltered. Overcoming negativity such as that, you don’t need it. Listen, we all mess up from time to time. What you did, it’s in the past now. There is absolutely no reason to keep dwelling on something you can’t change. After all, with mistakes come new life lessons. If your eyes are open, look past the mistake to the lesson it brings with it. After that, discard ever making that mistake and move on with that new life lesson.… okay, don’t discard the mistake. :D Just remember what you did wrong just in case that same situation comes again.

If you keep dwelling, nothing will change, nothing will get done, and your life will pass you by as you keep telling yourself how pathetic you are.

You don’t win.

Your friends don’t win.

Nobody wins.

In my opinion, the best thing to do when something  happens is to just…

The Truely Wise Path To Take - To Blame Nothing

This is going to take a lot of discipline, but think about it for a moment.

…

…

Do you see why now?

*ahem*

If blaming others leads to a spiraling cycle of hatred, bitterness, ignorance and emptiness, and blaming yourself  may usually lead to a spiraling cycle of self-pity and regret, then putting the blame on nothing is the best way to go. But, what exactly do I mean?

There’s always a place to put the blame, right? Well, technically, yes, but, think about it; if you’re open enough to understand that everyone is going to mess up from time to time, then you shouldn’t expect them, or yourself, to act perfectly. You’re not perfect, the one who may have helped causes the incident is not perfect, the world in which you grew up in is not perfect and can sometimes screw us over, it’s all inevitable and natural. You’re not going to be able to prevent every possible downfall, and that’s okay. If you blame another for something they may have done, what you’re essentially doing is blaming their own imperfections, which isn’t fair since they have just as much to learn as you and I do. That said, you may as well blame yourself as well. You need to adapt to the potential pitfalls of life, to not let these pitfalls bury you.

Once you accept the fact that you are going to make mistakes, just as everyone else will, you should be able to look at all potential mistakes as life lessons. With that knowledge armed, finding something to blame is just holding yourself back FROM seeing that life lesson. By letting go of the blame, you free your mind and soul (if you‘re religious ;D) of the burden of negativity that comes with the blame game.

What You Need To Do, Or Stop Doing

Stop Blaming Everyone Else.

• Doing so prohibits you from looking within to see your own potential weaknesses.

Stop blaming yourself.

• Doing so only creates more self-doubt which will eventually lead back to the voids article.

Learn The Lesson.

• Doing so enables clarity within any and all "mistakes" that have, and will, occur.

Lesson Complete. I like how I said at the beginning I wouldn’t talk a lot, and I did. Let’s talk about goals now.