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These articles under our Mind section have far more self-growth lessons to give as opposed to the Spirit Articles, but in a more subtle fashion. Don’t get me wrong, even if you don’t have depression, anger issues or shyness, each article focuses on a wide array of areas where the lessons extend far beyond the scope of the initial topic. This is also the area where you may reflect on my own lousy mistakes to help better prepare yourself for any similar situation.
In this article, you will learn the following...
1. Understanding Our Anger By Pinpointing Its General Theme 2. Alternative Methods of "Venting" So That We Ourselves Can Find Our Inner Peace 3. The Consequences of Abrubtly Releasing Our Anger 4. The Reasoning Behind Why Other People Act Out On Anger 5. Why Certain People End Up Disliking The Characteristics of Certain Others 6. Advanced Methods of Overcoming Anger (eBook)
Finding the "Theme" to Your Anger
INNER ANGER Anger can typically be one of the most simple emotions to overcome. However, as it is the most simple, it is also the most common. Here’s what I want you to do...
List all of the things that make you angry. Your list may be long, but the more you get out, the better understanding you’ll have on that emotion. Finished? K, what I want you to do now is to see if you can find any two+ that have the same thing in common, a theme. Typically, the things that anger us have a general theme. For example...
With those three, the theme that sparks your anger is “Intolerance.” Or, let’s take another example.
With those two, your theme seems to be, “Disorganization.” Do you see what I’m getting at? It’s a lot easier to control our anger when we have a better understanding as to what causes it and why other people don‘t see it the way we do. Next, I want you to take your theme(s) and seriously think about why it makes you angry. Think as deep as you possibly can on that topic.
-Disorganization (Am I really going to die if the lamp isn’t precisely facing on a 90 degree angle? Who’s really going to notice but me? Why do I pay so close attention to such trivialities all the time? I should be putting my focus elsewhere, where people really notice.)
You get it, the goal is for you to pinpoint what it is about it that sets you off. The general key is that, understanding defuses negative reactions. Go ahead, try it out. Many times though, anger arises when we choose to not do anything. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Bottling your emotions.” As you’ve recalled, I’ve done that for years, which is what caused me to have a mental breakdown of a colossal scale.
BOTTLING YOUR EMOTIONS DOES NOT GET RID OF THEM.
IT SIMPLY CREATES A BALLOON EFFECT. EVENTUALLY, WITH ENOUGH TIME, IT’S GOING TO EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE. “But Matthew, you’re saying that we should expose our anger when it arises? How the FREAKIN HECK can you do that without making things worse!?” Hohoho, the answer is simple mah boi. Don’t think the only way to control your emotions is to deal with it in the most obvious of fashions.
“Argh, I’m mad, I’d better take it out by hitting the next person I see. >=O”
No no noooo, that’s totally incorrect. :) This is where you get to use your imagination, but, if you lack that, allow me to make a suggestion. When you’re angry, you want to act out on it. You want to exert your power. Why not try taking up a Martial Art? I’m a Blue Belt in the Martial Art Tang Soo Do myself. In the name of Martial Arts, you get to let it all out as you punch, kick, spar and burn lots of calories. Once it’s over, you feel refreshed, rejuvenated, and peaceful. I’d say that’s a double win.
In the end there are a lot of alternatives to dealing with your emotions, have you ever thought about yoga? I’m sure there are a lot of people who consider yoga a silly practice, but hey, as Tony Horton says, “expand the mind a little and it’ll feel like a ride you’ve never had before.” I’ve done both yoga and martial arts and can vouch for their benefits.
Martial Arts Exerting your Physical/Emotional Energy to Bring About Internal Peace
Yoga Focusing your Mental/Spiritual Energy to Bring About Internal Peace
I don’t know about you, but those two are a perfect example of my favorite philosophy, “Yin and Yang.” Both seemingly opposite yet harboring the same effects. You may not know it, but taking either of these will most likely have huge rewards for you, so give it a whirl sometime. Though, perhaps your rage is controllable enough to where you don’t need martial arts, but just a new outlook on life. In my experience, anger sometimes stems from people taking things way too seriously. They can’t allow themselves to have fun, and, as a result, can’t see the humor in the actions of others. I’ve been around that before. If you’re someone who sees life as a chess board and nothing more, than you’re not going to like me.;) The thing about me is, when I’m not writing self-help guides, I do things for the sake of entertainment. Some people do not understand because they’ve devoted all of their time and understanding to one aspect of life. You see, in my observation, there are many routes to life…
-Fun -Happiness -Success
Just to name a few. A lot of times, people devote 100% of themselves to one aspect of life while refusing to partake in the others, which, subsequently, lowers their understanding of when people act outside the scope of which they’re accustomed to. In other words, assume someone has devoted 100% of their life to success and getting ahead in life. When crossed paths with someone whom loves to tell jokes and make references to internet memes, the result is complete friction and opposition. The success oriented one does not understand the meaning or relevance to the lifestyle of the joker subsequently associating them with inferiority, whereas the joker (lol batman) associates the serious one with bitterness and resentment. All in all, this is just a complex way to say…
DO NOT LIMIT YOUR PERSPECTIVE TO YOUR OWN SCOPE. IGNORANCE TO PERSPECTIVE BREEDS UNWANTED ANGER AND PREVENTS US FROM BEING INSIGHTFUL.
THOSE WHO LACK DEEP INSIGHT, MAKE SHALLOW JUDGEMENTS Don’t let yourself get caught up in that cycle, as so many else have. Stop taking everyone’s actions so seriously. Otherwise, you’re going to eventually view the world with anger and resentment, as they see that in you. Become a part of all aspects I’ve mentioned. A Balance of Characteristics. =D
OUTER ANGER
Like I said, anger is the most common emotion we, as humans, possess. It’s ironic how a lot of the times, anger is caused by those we care about. :3 Though, depending on how we utilize it can lead to a learning experience, pain, losing friends, more energy, rash judgments and even hatred, just to name a few. So due to the varying amounts of paths anger can lead to, it’s best we try to act rational and avoid impulsive judgments that we’ll regret later. Let me give you an example by telling you a story. Fun ensues. =D
“There were two siblings named Alexander and Leona. Leona had been seeing her boyfriend, Rex, for about 2 years now. They were awfully close. <3 Unbeknown to Leona though, Rex had been cheating on her for the last year with a woman named Theona. Sensing a disturbance in the force, Alexander did some detective work and found out. Armed with this knowledge, he approached his sister and told her the news. Fueled by blind love, Leona completely dismissed the accusation, calling her brother a, “Jealous doo-doo head”… Alexander countered by calling Rex a, “Pompous Pee-Pee Head.” Wanting to defend Rex’s honor, Theona punched her brother in the kidney and stormed off.
Realizing his sister wouldn’t listen to reason, Alexander marched off to Rex’s castle. Catching Rex and Theona in the act, Alexander called Rex out for his treason. Alexander engaged Rex in combat, both were killed in the process. When word reached Theona, she took her own life knowing that the two closest people she held dear were now gone."
The End.
Poor outcome right? This could be you if you let anger control your emotions every single time. So, let’s take a look at what went wrong by retelling the story.
“There were two siblings named Alexander and Leona. Leona had been seeing her boyfriend, Rex, for about 2 years now. They were awfully close. <3 Unbeknownst to Leona though, Rex had been cheating on her for the last year with a woman named Theona. Sensing a disturbance in the force, Alexander did some detective work and found out. Armed with this knowledge, he approached his sister and told her the news. A little stunned and offended, Leona asked for proof, to which Alexander could not provide (no cameras back in the medieval era). Alexander would not back down however, and insisted that Rex was a, “Cheating doofus.”… taking even more offense, Leona walked off.
In her chamber, she pondered the possibilities. She knew her brother well and the bond they shared was strong. It wouldn’t make sense for Alexander to make false statements, she assumed. With that, she took matters into her own hands and spied on Rex, staking out at his castle. As luck would have it, she caught Rex and Theona in the act just as her brother, Alexander, had stated. Returning to her castle, she caught Alexander about to leave, determined to engage Rex in combat for his treachery. Leona apologized to Alexander for not trusting in him and ultimately, broke up with Rex."
The End.
1. Alexander’s words angered Leona. In story one, she let it take control of her through violence. In story two, she did the wise thing and walked away.
WHEN ANGERED, TAKE A TIME-OUT TO COOL OFF. OTHERWISE, YOU RISK ACTING OUT ON YOUR ANGER AS LEONA DID, MAKING THINGS WORSE WHICH COULD LEAD TO HUGE MISTAKES
2. Despite their bond, Leona completely dismissed Alexander’s claims. In story two, Leona took into account what he said in order to make a clear decision.
ANGER LEADS TO RASH DECISIONS. LEONA DID NOT LET HER ANGER MISREPRESENT HER THOUGHTS. SHE CAREFULLY ANALYZED THE SITUATION FROM ALL PERSPECTIVES, JUST AS YOU SHOULD.
Anger = Impulsive Behavior Impulsive Behavior = Violence Impulsive Behavior = Harsh Words Impulsive Behavior = Inferior Decisions
All of which end with mistakes. Be smart, with these tips on anger management in mind, take time to cool off and think carefully about your next move. Don’t focus solely on the source of your anger, but focus on ways to go about evaluating it.
Don’t let your pride finish a meaningless argument.
Further Reading… Do You Want To Learn How To Protect Yourself? Have You Ever Thought About Learning The Art Of Self-Defense? Discover The World Of MMA! This guide will also teach you:
Anger Management 101
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